Wednesday, 3 April 2019

Research// The emotional lives of 8 - 10 year olds

- Eight- to ten-year-old children are still in what researcher Erik Erikson calls the age of Industry vs Inferiority

On the flip side of the close bonds and friendships that form among this age group comes the increase in social cruelty and bullying.

At around 8, children develop the ability to consider the intent behind an action or choice, along with the ability to take another’s perspective. As a consequence, children became capable of intentional meanness and social exclusion.

One component of social and emotional growth in 8 - 10 year olds is their desire for increased independence from parents and siblings, and their increased desire to be seen as intelligent and knowledgeable.

Children begin negotiating for what they want or arguing their point of view, at home and with peers, applying their more highly developed thinking skills, advanced language abilities, and increased concentration skills.

Supporting children this age means actively listening to their goals and remaining on their side as they achieve them, while simultaneously maintaining necessary limits and boundaries. Thus, instead of controlling your child, you are guiding him to learn to control himself. Some non-confrontational ways to do this:


  • Give him a small budget to choose clothes that match his style.
  • Allow him choice in deciding the family menu.
  • Give him veto power when selecting activities.Children this age enjoy sharing their point-of-view and can more easily manage emotions to fit the situation.Before the age of 10, children understand the role of conflicting friendships, and they can mend fences after an argument. Children now have a more stable basis for choosing friends: shared interests, ability to give and take, responsiveness to one another’s needs, and desire for positive qualities such as kindness or trustworthiness. Information sourced from: https://www.scholastic.com/parents/family-life/social-emotional-learning/development-milestones/emotional-lives-8-10-year-olds.html

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